Ask me anything

"I have traveled through madness to figure this out." - Walter, Fringe

Marilyn, 23, Math Geek;
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life but wasting time on the internet seems to be good enough for now :)
(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
Customer:“Excuse me, sir?”
Me:“Yes, ma’am?”
Customer:“I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
Me:“Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
Customer:“Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
Me:“We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
Customer:“Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
Owner:“Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
Homeless Man:“Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
Owner:“I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
Homeless Man:“Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
Homeless Man:*digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
Owner:*to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
Homeless Man:“I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
1 hour ago
234,699 notes

lilpetrabbit:

a few days ago bf told me that a couple years ago when he played counterstrike he would respond to dudes getting angry and aggressive and hostile by saying “a kissaroo from me to you” in a slightly goofy friendly voice sort of like the voice you’d associate with a dog muppet.  he said they would absolutely lose their shit every time, insisting things like “i dont want a kissaroo from you!  only tall blonde girls!”.  they always said kissaroo.  i cant stop thinking about this

(via mystomachaches)

1 hour ago
19,141 notes

theproblematicblogger:

Do not fall in love with me; I will take you to museums and giggle uncontrollably whenever we see a statue of a naked man and you will be super annoyed and embarrassed

(via mystomachaches)

1 hour ago
4,775 notes
ghostprncess:

shredc0re:

enchantedmemories:

r-omanceisboring:

wild-soulchiild:

omfg

this is the happiest gif I’ve ever seen

sharing the first snowfall with a kiss.. awww

cute

these cats have a better love life than me

ghostprncess:

shredc0re:

enchantedmemories:

r-omanceisboring:

wild-soulchiild:

omfg

this is the happiest gif I’ve ever seen

sharing the first snowfall with a kiss.. awww

cute

these cats have a better love life than me

(Source: karen-lee1love, via mystomachaches)

1 hour ago
475,188 notes

zombiefauns:

i’ve figured out that horror games with grotesque monsters and spooky environments are -9000 scary if you pretend you’re steve irwin on a mission to document the monster(s)

"Lookie there. That’s a six-foot grunt from the basement. A’hm gonna wrassle it."

(via kurowerewolf18)

1 hour ago
12,004 notes

chickenstab:

halloween’s coming early on tumblr

(via thecheshirerabbitt)

1 hour ago
277,865 notes

greatjaggi:

yanahma:

greatjaggi:

What the fuck is the “super” in superwholock supposed to represent

Sigh. Look at this plebian. Lets get this cleared up once and for all:

image

"Super" = Superbad

image

"Who" = The Hoobs

image

"Lock" = John Locke from Lost

Now can we please never have a misunderstanding about this again

image

Well im glad that’s cleared up

(via mystomachaches)

1 hour ago
36,037 notes
fieldbears:

actualmenacebuckybarnes:

magpieandwhale:

Fun fact! The indignant English bartender in this scene is the same actor who played tiny Steve.

Fun fact! After seeing Steve gazing longingly at Peggy, Bucky waited for Steve to leave his side then prepositioned the indignant English bartender for a night of angst-ridden lookalike sex.

#well he attempted sex but just ended up holding the guy and crying for half the night(kehinki)

fieldbears:

actualmenacebuckybarnes:

magpieandwhale:

Fun fact! The indignant English bartender in this scene is the same actor who played tiny Steve.

Fun fact! After seeing Steve gazing longingly at Peggy, Bucky waited for Steve to leave his side then prepositioned the indignant English bartender for a night of angst-ridden lookalike sex.

(kehinki)

(via edgebug)

1 hour ago
4,454 notes
castiel-knight-of-hell:

jen-kollic:

thejollity:

jen-kollic:

hobopoppins:

manaphy:

wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS.
I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs.
So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.”
I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry.
And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs.

This is actually a relatively new thing, originally Kinder Eggs were all white like the ones on the left. I don’t know at what point they decided to make ‘girl’s’ Kinder Eggs, but I do not like it.

Holy shit do not even get me started on how moms constantly police their sons’ masculinity. I’ve seen mothers do it WAY more often than fathers.
I used to work at a bakery that specialized in creating custom cakes. We had this feature where we could print out any image off the computer and put it on a cake (with rice paper). One day this lady comes in and asks for an image we had of the baby Sesame Street characters. They’re all together with cake and confetti, and she asks, “Oh, well since it’s a boy, can you please change all of the little pink confettis into blue confetti? I mean, he’s a boy, you know.”
Confetti.
The fucking confetti.
It barely covered 5% of the image.
Another instance was when a lady asked me for an image of four superheroes to put on her son’s cake because her son was turning four. She admitted to not knowing any superheroes, so I offered the most obvious choice—The Fantastic Four. I pulled up a picture of them and she goes, “Oh no no, we can’t have that. Let’s do another one.” Confused, I pulled up a Justice League one with Batman, Superman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman. Again, she said no. I asked her if she needed anything specific (she didn’t know superheroes, why was she so picky?), and she just said, “Oh, it’s just that he’s a boy, you know? We can’t have a girl superhero on his cake.”
I nearly lost my shit. I did temporarily lose my customer service face and ask why, women have been superheroes all the time, Wonder Woman is iconic, etc etc and she was like, “It’s just that my son has been playing with Barbie dolls lately and I really don’t want him to end up… well, you know.”
This shit has got to stop. When you teach boys that certain things are only for girls, you’re limiting them and you’re teaching them that girls or “girly things” are bad. If you want gender equality as an adult, you better make DAMN sure that you’re teaching the same thing to your kids.

So this woman did not want her son to turn out ‘you know’ and her plan for that was to get him a cake with spandex-clad manly men AND ONLY MEN on it? I don’t think she thought that one through too well…

in sociology class we were talking about gender being assigned to objects and one of the male students started saying how forward thinking he is because he buys his daughter sports equipment and “boy toys”. I asked if he’d do the same if he had a son and he said “Of course I’d buy my son sports equipment”. I clarified “No, would you buy him dolls and other toys that are thought of as being for girls”. He turned around and didn’t answer.
Parents will pat themselves on the back for letting their little girls play baseball but a little boy with a Barbie is still considered an affront to society

castiel-knight-of-hell:

jen-kollic:

thejollity:

jen-kollic:

hobopoppins:

manaphy:

wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS.

I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs.

So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.”

I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry.

And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs.

This is actually a relatively new thing, originally Kinder Eggs were all white like the ones on the left. I don’t know at what point they decided to make ‘girl’s’ Kinder Eggs, but I do not like it.

Holy shit do not even get me started on how moms constantly police their sons’ masculinity. I’ve seen mothers do it WAY more often than fathers.

I used to work at a bakery that specialized in creating custom cakes. We had this feature where we could print out any image off the computer and put it on a cake (with rice paper). One day this lady comes in and asks for an image we had of the baby Sesame Street characters. They’re all together with cake and confetti, and she asks, “Oh, well since it’s a boy, can you please change all of the little pink confettis into blue confetti? I mean, he’s a boy, you know.”

Confetti.

The fucking confetti.

It barely covered 5% of the image.

Another instance was when a lady asked me for an image of four superheroes to put on her son’s cake because her son was turning four. She admitted to not knowing any superheroes, so I offered the most obvious choice—The Fantastic Four. I pulled up a picture of them and she goes, “Oh no no, we can’t have that. Let’s do another one.” Confused, I pulled up a Justice League one with Batman, Superman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman. Again, she said no. I asked her if she needed anything specific (she didn’t know superheroes, why was she so picky?), and she just said, “Oh, it’s just that he’s a boy, you know? We can’t have a girl superhero on his cake.”

I nearly lost my shit. I did temporarily lose my customer service face and ask why, women have been superheroes all the time, Wonder Woman is iconic, etc etc and she was like, “It’s just that my son has been playing with Barbie dolls lately and I really don’t want him to end up… well, you know.”

This shit has got to stop. When you teach boys that certain things are only for girls, you’re limiting them and you’re teaching them that girls or “girly things” are bad. If you want gender equality as an adult, you better make DAMN sure that you’re teaching the same thing to your kids.

So this woman did not want her son to turn out ‘you know’ and her plan for that was to get him a cake with spandex-clad manly men AND ONLY MEN on it? I don’t think she thought that one through too well…

in sociology class we were talking about gender being assigned to objects and one of the male students started saying how forward thinking he is because he buys his daughter sports equipment and “boy toys”. I asked if he’d do the same if he had a son and he said “Of course I’d buy my son sports equipment”. I clarified “No, would you buy him dolls and other toys that are thought of as being for girls”. He turned around and didn’t answer.

Parents will pat themselves on the back for letting their little girls play baseball but a little boy with a Barbie is still considered an affront to society

(via kurowerewolf18)

1 hour ago
230,680 notes
dudes:"all men watch porn just get used to it"
dudes:"men just have stronger sex drives than women, its just biology"
dudes:"we can't help objectifying women, its in our dna"
feminists:"rape happens a lot in our society and most are perpetrated by men, towards women, and i can't tell the difference between safe men and dangerous men just by looking so i tend to be wary of men sometimes"
dudes:"NOW WAIT JUST A FUCKIN SECOND HOW CAN YOU GENERALIZE ALL MEN THATS SO UNFAIR"
1 hour ago
205,028 notes
Taylor Swift goes No. 1 on iTunes Canada with 8 seconds of static: LISTEN.

whole-nother:

If there’s ever been any question about the power of Taylor Swift’s name to move records, this should dispel it. Some sort of glitch in the Canadian version of iTunes Tuesday morning led to the release of what was ostensibly a new track from her album. The record, for now titled only “Track 3,” is nothing more than 8 seconds of static, but that didn’t stop fans from taking it straight to No. 1.

As of this morning the 8 seconds of white noise—which we should have embedded for your pleasure shortly—remains at No. 1, where it sits just ahead, of course, two other songs from Taylor Swift.

this is important. this is the most important thing to happen to pop music in decades.

(Source: belleswift17, via thebloodofoympus)

1 hour ago
3,754 notes